Sarah Kay – The Type

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Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else.
–Richard Siken

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at
You can let them look at you
But do not mistakes eyes for hands
Or windows, or mirrors
Let them see what a woman looks like
They may not have ever seen one before

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch
You can let them touch you
Sometimes it is not you they are reaching for
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer, another woman
But their hands found you first

Do not mistake yourself for a guardian
Or a muse, or a promise, or a victim, or a snack
You are a woman, skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat
You are not made of metaphors, not apologies, not excuses

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold
You can let them hold you
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright
Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural
Still strains the muscles, hold firm the arms and spine

Only some men will want to know what it feels like
To curl themselves into a question mark around you
Admit they do not have the answers they do not have by now
Some men will want to hold you like the answer
You are not the answer
You are the problem, you are not the poem or the punchline
Or the riddle, or the joke

Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love
You can let them love you
Being loved is not the same thing as loving
When you fall in love, it is discovering the ocean after years of puddle-jumping
It is realising you have hands
It is reaching for the tightrope when the crowds have all gone home

Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of woman men will hurt
If he leaves you with a car alarm heart, you learn to sing along
It is hard to stop loving the ocean
Even after it has left you gasping, salty
So forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night

And know this:
Know that you are the type of woman who is searching for a place to call yours
Let the statues crumble
You have always been the place
You are the kind of woman who can build it yourself
You were born to build

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